Dr. Downhill’s Staircase

Once upon a time , Titanic  Ltd. , a small  and sinking company in the land of milk and honey,  hired certain Dr. Downhill  to assist Mr. Dolittle Speakless, the MD of the company. Mr. Dolittle was a much worried man. Titanic Ltd. was not sinking fast enough. His  visions was to see the company listed among top ten most mismanaged companies in the universe. Time was running out fast. So one day he called Dr. Downhill   to his chamber and empowered him to  take any action to realise his dreams. Dr. Downhill, quickly settled on the job. He consulted  his caboodle and in no time identified Human Resource Destruction department  (HRD) as a  major  problem area.

In the course of time he invented following simple management techniques which to this day are known as  Downhill’s stairs. This stair is still being used by unprofessionals the world over to go downhill.

  1. You shall double speak.
  2. You shall promote yourself.
  3. You shall fake understanding.
  4. You shall just pretend delegation.
  5. You shall create insecurity in subordinates.
  6. You shall obstruct promotions of subordinates.
  7. You shall downgrade subordinates behind their backs.
  8. You shall cultivate and consult only your blue eyed boys.
  9. You shall do to subordinates what was done to you by your seniors.
  10. You shall ask your subordinates to do the jobs that are not their responsibilities.

Needless to add , Mr. Dolittle’s dreams came true. Happy sinking.



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